How We Learn

April 14th, 2012 by Todd Muffley

My middle daughter informed me that she will be moving out of her meager housing, which I provide for her, and moving in with some friends, getting a second job at a factory, a nose ring and to top it all off, a tattoo. Wow.

As any father of a 18-year old would attest to, my blood started to boil. But before I spoke, a sense of calm came over me...call it God inspired wisdom, because I can't say where I could have come up with what came out of mouth next. "Great honey, I know you'll be fine." Talk about taking the fight out of a dog....she didn't know what to say. I think she was expecting Armageddon to ensue, but got a smile and a vote of confidence instead.

Great story Todd, but what is the point. What if I fought her, talked her out of it? Told her it was a mistake, that it was going to be hard? Try to "protect her" from making, in my opinion, bad choices? If I would have done that, I would have deprived her of experience. Learning through success or failure is, I have found, one of the most poignant ways to have something ingrained into your being. To deprive our children, friends, employees or family members of the chance to learn from experience is easy to do. Give bad advise, direct them in a way which will "protect" them, keep them out of harms way or worse, keep them from an experience that would help them somehow in their later years.

One could say I have made lots of "mistakes" in my life. Joining the Army, getting married and having two kids before I was 25, quitting a solid job...twice, starting my own businesses, growing to fast, need I go on? But one thing I tell everyone, is that each choice, every experience, has made me the person I am today...and for that, I wouldn't change a thing.

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